what

Like I come with links and references but I'm a pdf of a chapter in a sun bleached dog eared book that couldn't lie flat enough in the scanner to have any margins left to scribble in

And like every conversation is a seminar with the author of that wrinkled shadowed text stark and grey and noisy with the light that the lid couldn't close enough to keep out around the spine

Has this freed me? Has meeting every argument and covering all my bases ahead of publication made me more intelligible to a wider audience or less subject to interpretation?

Can I be read less charitably than I read myself and isn't the dog earing and scanning and scribbling and interpreting also how I love too?

Does it help me in that seminar to move us all towards a better understanding to be grandstanding and meet every question with a definitive answer either way?

I'm scared of your reaction and I'm scared of my reaction to your reaction