On the Mental Wellbeing of the Creative Force

pantoum-ish

On the mental wellbeing of the creator of the universe.

If God exists we must be mad
You must have gone a little far
Too deep into the puzzles we
Made you of molecules and stars

We must have gone a little far
You explain looking on
Made us of molecules and stars
Muttered alone and on

We explain looking on
How you can push your skin
Mutter alone and on
Grow your feathers hollow your bones

How we can push our skin
Mold into your impressions
Grow our feathers hollow bones
You missed your chance

Molding our impressions
If God exists, you must be mad
We missed our chance
Too deep into the puzzles, you.

repetition

Something about the structure - it needs to be longer to get everything i want in? or all of the imagery - but the structure does make it challenging.

I think re-working it with an eye to how the repetition works. or do a different thing to the pantoum.